spacecampblues's Xanga

Sunday, July 05, 2009

Sun, 05 Jul 2009 19:21:27 GMT

since the last post, ive finished my junior year and im finally a senior. in some ways i want my senior year to begin and in others, i never want it to come, but at the same time i want it to be over so i can get on with my life.

i got my first car. its a 1998 nissan altima gxe. it was $2000 from craigslist. the only thing wrong with it is a pretty big dent in front of the driver's side door and the air conditioner doesnt work.

i was suspended until further notice from my job so i quit. the next morning i got another job babysitting for a friend of the family. its usually just me and her two kids. one is 2 1/2 and the other is 9.

i got my dog and shes really clingy but i like having her around. she comes with me almost everywhere and loves riding in the car. right now she's laying next to me on the bed.

alissa left june 23rd to go to michigan and i havent talked to her since the 30th because shes at camp. she'll be there until the 12th and will be back home the 18th. i wrote her a letter last night and its already in the mailbox ready to be sent off so im just waiting for tomorrow to be here. ill hopefully be getting a letter from her but if i dont, i dont really mind.

late last month i had an appointment at the st gabriel clinic to get blood work done. they checked my testosterone levels and they came back normal. i had to go back two days later and they did 4 or 5 more tests and they came back fine. on the 24th of this month, im going to baton rouge to an endocrinologist to get my prescription for testosterone. im pretty excited to do that. i hope that alissa can come with me to my appointment. its at 830 in the morning.

right after my appointment, me, jason and barbie are going to drive to houston to go to a noise festival. im really excited for the end of this month. we're going to leave pretty soon after my appointment, drive to houston, go to the show the next day and then probably drive back that night. its only $10 to get in and there will be 30 bands there so i figure that thats a pretty good deal. barbie doesnt want to go to the show and wouldnt be able to anyway because she has to study for finals.

right now im saving up money to go to voodoo fest in new orleans. its october 30th and 31st and november 1st. its going to be me, jason, barbie and brittany. tickets are about $170 for all 3 days and then we have to stay in a hotel. we'll be staying there for 2 nights and its $73 a night. the bands im most excited for are brand new, the black keys, wolfmother, the flaming lips and kings of leon. i know im missing some but thats all i can think of right now.

the ship of fools im on will sink

Tue, 19 May 2009 03:06:42 GMT

it seems like nobody can help me
im sick of feeling helpless and stupid drs

Monday, May 04, 2009

Mon, 04 May 2009 03:20:44 GMT

i suck so bad at writing in this
i get really busy
and i just totally forget to write
or ill think that i wrote and i go to check it
and nothing is there
a lot has gone on in the past couple months
that i would rather not talk about here
im in a really bitter mood right now
and i dont know why
i saw The Black Keys thursday night in new orleans
me, barbie and jason went
they were AWESOME
we each got a shirt
ive been out of school and work since wednesday
we found out that i have impetigo
and so im on antibiotics for it right now
ive been hanging out with friends
and my girlfriend since ive been out
we started dating april 16
her name is alissa and shes 15
she goes to my school and shes a freshman

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Sat, 28 Feb 2009 22:12:27 GMT

i got a job about a week and a half or two weeks ago
it's at Western Sizzlin
i like it a lot so far
i knew pretty everyone there before i started so its not too bad
i get 6.55 an hour
gamestop finally opened
so i traded in my PS2 for a new one because it crapped out on me
and i ended up buying Beyond Good and Evil
what ive played of it is pretty fun
i was looking for something that was a lot like Zelda
and the guy suggested that one
ive been to gamestop about a thousand times in the past week
i love it
i was looking into an xbox
and the guy that works there told me about the Resident Evil 5 preorder
so we went in yesterday to get it
its a red 360 Elite
so thats pretty exciting
if you have a 360
you should tell me your gamer tag
and ill add you
im planning on buying UFC Undisputed pretty soon after
and maybe Halo or something like that to try out

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Sun, 15 Feb 2009 07:58:48 GMT

blah
the past few days have been awesome
ive been going to school
and doing pretty alright
i love all of my classes
but art has to be my favorite
i prefer using color rather than actually drawing something out
i mean i love drawing it up and everything
but thats too time consuming for grey and white
i want something to pop
valentines day was pretty alright
ashley came over at like 11ish this morning
and she left around 330 for work
and she came back at around 1030
and i was making cupcakes
but i didnt finish until like 1230
because im slow apparently
ive been reading a lot lately
i finished The Princess Bride by William Goldman
the good parts version
and i started reading Haunted
which is really good so far
im not sure what ill read after that
if i like his writing style
(which i do already)
then ill probably read another Chuck Palahniuk book
im probably going to get a job at western sizzlin
its a steak place around here
about 5 or 10 minutes away from the house
my buddies work there so im pretty excited

today has been fun

Wed, 04 Feb 2009 02:18:39 GMT

okay not really
it was probably one of the worst days
in the past few weeks

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Tue, 27 Jan 2009 01:20:01 GMT

blah
i miss ashley a ton right now
she left about an hour and a half ago
and im really tired
its 815 right now
and she wont get here until probably 430 tomorrow
and thats only if she comes right after she gets out of school
we're going to prom together
i already have my tux picked out

it matches her dress
and she wouldnt help me pick anything out
so thats all me trying to do a good job
lately, me and ashley have been watching Scrubs
i got her all seven seasons for christmas
so we started on the first disc
of the first season yesterday
i love it
ive seen a few episodes here and there
but not where i was like OMGZ GUYS SCRUBS IS ON
i really like watching tv with her
we're mostly through the first season of The L Word
not totally though
to anyone whos wondering
this is her before she cut and dyed her hair

thats one of my favorite pictures of her
and im not sure why
michael surprised wendy
and took her on a cruise
and they left the baby with us
im just glad that i have school this week
i have to say that my favorite class is art
but my favorite people class is chemistry
i sit right next to chesty, christina and alyssa
so its a lot of fun
but i get to stay out on thursday
because my mom has to go in to get x rays on her hand
because she broke it when she fell in the shower
and my grandma is coming over
and she needs help with the baby and everything
they should get back thursday DAY or afternoon
im hoping thursday day though
i would like some time to relax before the weekend
me and ashley are planning to go to men's warehouse
so i can get the tux fitted for me
i really cant wait until prom
and its on april 25th
thats too far away
its weird though
because ive never really been interested in these sorts of things before
at all
and it wasnt even ashleys idea
i brought it up
which was weird in itself
after we get back from men's warehouse
we will probably watch better than chocolate
because im getting that from netflix
and the notebook
and maybe p.s. i love you if i can get it
i really hope that i can
i love that movie and shes never seen it before
and shes been wanting to see better than chocolate
apparently we're going to have a girls night
so we'll see how that goes
we should take pictures that night
i think that itll be pretty funny

dang son. long time, no blog

Tue, 20 Jan 2009 03:50:05 GMT

today has been a pretty good ending
to a really good long weekend
i was off on friday
for staff development day
so we got a four day weekend
and i was pretty excited for that
but mainly because ashley stayed
thursday, friday, saturday and sunday night
it was a lot of fun
we hung out and listened to music
and we watched the l word
which is probably her new favorite show
we are on the ninth episode of the first season
she has a huge crush on shane
but then again, who doesnt?
i failed english 3 honors
i was expecting to though
right now im in chemistry, art 1, american history and algebra 2
everything is pretty easy
but i dont care much for chemistry
i love the people that im in class with
even if the girl that sits next to me has a crush on me
she invited me and ashley to go bowling with her
later on this month
ill finish updating this later
im ready for bed
and im exhausted

Thursday, December 04, 2008

Thu, 04 Dec 2008 00:11:33 GMT

http://weblog.revelife.com/revelife/684517826/qotd-premarital-sex-is-wrong-but-what-about-masturbation.html?ref=FPP
that is ridiculous
srsly guyz
blah
revelife has been annoying me lately
to end this,
ill just quote Tim Curry from Rocky Horror
"Give yourself over to absolute pleasure"
i broke up with jenni a few weeks ago
i cant remember exactly what day
i didnt realize that its been so long since i wrote in here
but oh well
it doesnt really matter
ive been hanging out with ashley a lot
and her and adam just broke up last night
we've hung out everyday since me and jenni broke up
and a few days before
we're going to start dating soon
when we start though is up to her
on thanksgiving we went out to see twilight
which was a LOT better than i was expecting
i met one of her friends
and she met my grandparents
it was pretty cool
she loves my grandmas food
which earned her super brownie points
and she watches the same shows as my dad
so that helps too
we dated before
for about three months
im pretty bored right now though
because shes at work
and i dont really have much to say
tomorrow is my birthday
and i guess im excited for that
oh well though

5 controversial subjects: obama/mccain, voting, guitar hero, weed and transgender issues

Thu, 06 Nov 2008 03:50:53 GMT

okay i lied about all of those being controversial
but it sure got your attention
okay usually im not a very serious person
at least not on xanga
but today im going to be
im going to attempt to address these issues that have been bothering me
and hopefully i wont get too side tracked
i decided to not put my opinion into a blog until after the election
i know everyone is sick of hearing about the election
but before you go any further - lets get something straight
youre probably not going to like all of the words i use in this entry
im not racist but some people may call some of my ideas racist
but its going to be blunt and straight to the point
1.) im sick of everyone bragging about obama
2.) dont call me a 'nigger lover' because i enjoyed seeing obama win
3.) dont vote, dont complain
4.) blind elections?
5.) were they qualified to run?
6.) assassination attempts
7.) obamas grandma
8.) palin is one funny lady
9.) stop saying youre going to move to canada
10.) be quiet about weed
11.) stop supporting the marijuana party
12.) guitar hero: world tour
13.) what is a transgender person?
14.) to T(testosterone) or not to T?
15.) surgery vs no surgery?
okay this is very broad but i hope it caught someones eye
1.) on november 3rd, our gym class had to play football. the coaches had been questioning everyone on who they would vote for and why. obama on one side, mccain and independants on the other. i walked to the obama side. no black person was on the mccain side. that part didnt bother me. i dont care about your race. our coaches always pick on everyone so they asked the obama side why they didnt go to mccains side. no answer. i wasnt going to say anything because if i was directly questioned, i could tell you exactly why. no one spoke up because no one had a reason.
2.) was i happy that obama won? oh yeah. was i even happier that he wont by a landslide? definitely. a bunch of people were having a conversation today about obama and how hes black and doesnt deserve to win. obviously a ton of people did want him to run the country because he was elected. especially when he won by that much. i was standing around those people, i couldnt even tell you their names. one of them looks up at me and said 'hey mccain or obama?' so i said obama. i wasnt going to lie. their response was 'nigger lover.' im so sick of people throwing that word around lately. its gotten worse since the election got kicked up and im tired of it.
3.) i can see where both sides are coming from. my mom didnt vote. not because she didnt feel like it but because there was only ONE thing that she cared about. gay marriage. neither candidate was for it, so she wont vote until one DOES fully want it and will fight for it. of course she cares about other things like education but not to the extent she cares about gay marriage. she has every right to complain about whatever she wants. shes a citizen. last year, i learned that as americans we have rights, responsibilities and duties. an example of a duty that we have is paying our taxes. we HAVE to do that. but a right that we have is to vote. a responsibility we have is to be EDUCATED. which also means to be an educated voter. i would rather have a few educated voters vote than a million non-educated ones. think of who would be running our country then.
4.) i think that next time we should have a blind election. dont give out names. just candidate A and candidate B. there are SO many racist people(refer to #2)that agreed with obama but refused to vote for him because of the sole reason that hes black. or even his name. 'obama is too close to osama.' and my personal favorite - 'his middle name is hussein.' thats so ridiculous. its a name that involves his heritage. say that my parents are mexican. if they want to name me jose, then that reflects where i came from. the name someone was given at birth does NOT reflect the person or their belief system. either you agree or you dont. im sure that if he was able to name himself, i dont think he would have picked that name. it hurts him more than helps him.
5.) there are all of these arguements about their qualifications to become president. if you had doubts, dont let them win the primaries. theyre obviously qualified, or very good speakers and liars, to have gotten that far. you dont have to be the smartest person to be president. you dont have to be the fittest. just know what youre doing. everyones complaining about experience too. and by experience, i dont mean political experience. i mean life experiences. i respect mccain a ton for being able to live through being tortured and being a prisoner of war and everything. its amazing. BUT being a POW does NOT qualify you to be president.
6.) there have been talks about assassination attempts on obama and mccain. theres a huge chance of assassination with any president. i understand completely that this was a really controversial election. i say we suit up obama with a bullet proof vest, pants, and a beanie and let him at it. hes a very smart man. both of them are but i disagree with almost everything that mccain says and i agree with almost everything obama says. mccain is also VERY well spoken. a lot better than i thought that he was. his speech last night was completely amazing
7.) i feel extremely sorry for obama and his family. it was a horrible loss and so close to election day. i wish she could have lived until at least today to see her grandson be elected president. how would you like to say, in 60 years, 'you see the president? thats my grandson' i really do wish that she could have seen that. no matter if one of mccains relatives died, i would still feel the same way so its not about me being for obama that i feel so bad for them all. its a respect thing
8.) everyone is ranting and raving about palin not being qualified enough. honestly, im with them on that. BUT this isnt about her qualifications. shes a hilarious woman but i dont think that she should have been next in line to run the country. thats just one scary thought for me. after watching her on saturday night live and her debates being made fun of and how upbeat of a person she is, she seems like one cool person until she starts spouting out her beliefs but thats another completely different issue. bottom line: palin on SNL - good. palin as VP - bad.
9.) if i hear one more person say they are moving to canada, im going to have to give them a kick in the face, delivered by yours truly. what annoys me more than that is when theyre younger than me and say 'oh no the country is completely screwed. im moving to canada, going to school there for a year and coming back' okay. do you have ANY idea how far away canada is from here? have you not looked at a map? in case youre wondering - we are in southern louisiana. the chance of you even getting out of the new orleans/baton rouge metropolitan area is slim to none, but if you want to do that and screw up your life, i dont care. ill sit back and laugh when you come back and say 'i told you so'
10.) combined with moving to canada(refer to #9), dont move there JUST because weed is legal. thats beyond annoying. i wish that people could see how annoying they are when theyre stoned out of their minds. when everyone thinks that theyre so cool when they start smoking pot and start bragging about it, i just wish someone would jump them. you think im kidding? no. argue with me and say that cigarettes are more harmful than weed. ill agree with you. cigarettes contain more harmful chemicals than pot but at least cigarettes dont kill your brain. but dont argue with me on that. i took an entire class on the effects of certain drugs on your brain. i HAD to retain the info to teach it to fifth graders. im not dumb, trust me. a guy in my class stopped smoking pot and his grades all went up at least two letter grades. he says he can concentrate better and actually keep the information that he was taught. did you know that 98% of teenagers smoke pot?
11.) what will the marijuana party ever do to you? americans are dumb enough as it is. dont say that i made it up, its statistically proven in tons of studies. that party will never get you anywhere. they will never be elected and even if they were, they wouldnt know what to do. i wish that they would quit the party completely so they could spend all their time smoking and maybe become homeless.
12.) guitar hero is one of the largest video game franchises in the world. and i have learned this week that theres a reason why it is. guitar hero world tour is the best video game i have ever played. thats counting guitar hero 1, 2, 3, rocks the 80s and aerosmith. all of which i beat. you wouldnt believe how much fun im having playing and i suggest that everyone goes out to buy it. i cant wait until christmas when the entire bundle comes in. guitar, mic and drums because right now im playing on my old rock band drums and i cant figure out how to activate star power. totally ripped off on that aspect.
13.) transgender is a general term assigned to people who feel that their brain and their body dont match up. some people believe that it is a physical 'disease' while some believe that it is mental. i think that it should be considers physical because the 'treatment' involves changing your physical appearance to match your brain. there is a certain part of your brain that is slightly smaller in women than it is in men. what happens is if you are an FTM(female-to-male)transsexual, that part of your brain i slightly larger than it should be and vice versa for MTF(male-to-female)
14.) T is a shortened term for testosterone, the male hormone while women produce estrogen. after a lot of thought and research i have decided to start T. i have to go to a therapist so i can get the prescription for T. i have to be honest and say that im pretty scared about it. not in a bad way, just in an excited nervous i dont know what will happen way. when i think about it, my stomach gets in knots and i know that im more excited than anything. i know that as a whole, i will be happier as a person but on the other hand, i know that T will NOT solve all of my problems. i have issues passing right now and i know that whenever my voice gets deeper and i start to grow facial hair, i WILL be happier to pass and more willing to do things. im just sick of being called ma'am
15.) as of right now, i am planning to get a mastectomy to remove my breasts. i hate them and i always have. in my attempt to pass, im binding them down and compared to other people, mine are large. D/DD and as you could imagine, it IS very hard to pass. im not completely turning my nose up at surgeries past that. i guess that we will have to see how everything goes. i havent done too much research on what all of the surgeries are and what they do. i may opt to have certain surgeries and not others. i dont see it happening but things do change dramatically. i have to say that no one has to worry because ill never make a dramatic decision like that without doing all of the necessary research and talking to people that i have to talk to. all in all, im very excited to start the whole process.